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Precisely. It is the tops responsibility to ensure the comfort safety naughty want for sex of his partner. That being said I, having spent a lifetime on top, have a few more observations if y'all are willing to indulge me. First off, if your top doesn't want to kiss you then send him packing, he'll be useless down the line. Honestly, if he can't engage face to face then all he's got between his legs is(maybe)size and no substance. Flip side of that: I can't count the number of perfectly good boners that have gone to waste because some bottom boy just wants to get done and done. "Just fuck me, please just fuck me". Aside from the "please" part that kind of sucks. I'm not your dildo come to life. I like kissing a boy or. I maybe on top but foreplay is as important to me as it is to the body beneath me. I like lips on lips, skin on skin a good deal of sweat and hands on a PARTNER. Give me that much and I'll make you scream. Yeah, I like to be in charge but if you're not getting off on it then I'm not getting off on it. It's a two way street sweet thing. Secondly, I get that you are protective of yourself and that you know what you like. What you not understand is that so am I and so do I. Tops are ridiculously fragile. We are, I am, there it is. We are the ones who are expected to perform. No one ever blames the bottom for bad sex, even if all you did was just lay there and you only answered your phone that one time. That shit is just devastating. If you choose to be with me then be with me, participate. Until I give you a reason to pull back, trust me, accept what I have to give. It not be what you think you want but I might just be the best you ever had. This topping from the bottom crap is just that, it's crap. Let me have my way. It's how I was built and it's what I need. If you want what you want then trust enough to give me what I want. Certainly give me the clues because I am watching for them and I play them to MY advantage but if you just want to tell me what to do and how and where to do it then please send me home and go for what's in the top drawer of your nightstand. 
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